Now, I refuse to read any of these ridiculous side ads that seem to have found an amazing amount of  ‘Moms’ in my ‘local’ area who all have found ‘miraculous $5 tricks’ to erase the lines of time.

But I admit, a long time ago, I did once open an ad for the ‘strange simple secret’ to lose belly fat.  It led to page upon page upon page promising that you’d read this secret soon, and that it was ‘so simple’ that you wouldn’t believe it!  Well, I was a good 40+ pages in and it still kept promising the ‘secret’ would really work, but I closed the ad because I just didn’t care, and by the time I had the ‘answer’ I probably could have walked around the block 3 or 4 times!

But back to this ‘local Mom’.   You know, these ads  always feature the face of a woman who has never had wrinkles, or worse, the picture  where a bar sweeps back and  forth over a gruesomely photo-shopped wrinkly face, transforming it into an immaculately smooth face. (shudder!) Yet today, the latest picture I’ve seen for these annoying ads caught my eye.  Here it is, slightly enlarged:

Oka-a-a-y.  So I guess this means to lose my  wrinkles I only have to become a green Orion Slave Girl?  Hmm.   Maybe it works? Look, here’s Susan Oliver getting the same treatment in 1964! 😉

Well, I never found out what the $5 trick was, and although I’m sure that green makeup hides the wrinkles,  I’ll leave the application to the descendants of Fred Phillips!