I hate tabloids.
Every week as I check out my groceries, among the TV Guides and Oprah magazines, a new batch of glossy, gossip rags blare at me from the checkout counter. I don’t give them much notice, and the ones I do notice are pretty laughable. They range in sensationalism from bad to worse but the worst of these is likey The National Examiner, which is probably the most outrageous. The covers of this particular tab specializes in paparazzi shots that capture celebrities at their worst. This week’s caught my eye not for who’s got cellulite or the latest scandal, but for the latest in their most morbid, and what appears to be continuing series: “SAD LAST DAYS!” They trot these out every few weeks or so, guess who was on the cover of this weeks?
Now, I didn’t bother to read the actual article, and I wouldn’t spend a penny on them*, but what bothers me most is that whenever a celebrity’s mortality is truly or falsely at stake, this particular tab insists that their “last days” are always ‘Sad’ ones. Because of course, ALL celebrities cannot come to a good end. They must suffer horribly because they are rich and famous.
I got news for the National Examiner. Everyone ages. Everyone dies. And not every celebrity can look 100% perfect at every outing. And no matter HOW they look, you can’t condemn them to death just because they’re having a bad hair day or more wrinkles than they used to. Yes, of course many beloved celebrities are not as young as they used to be, but you know what? They’ve worked hard for their success, they’ve made millions of people happy, and above all, they’re happy with themselves! (Even if some of them are sick!**) So lay off this crap! Or if you must peddle it, go digital and save a million trees!
Mr. Nimoy, Sir, I presume from your recent tweets that you’re fine. But I think you, Ed, Michael, Marjorie, Mary, Suzanne, and Dolly should sue these fools. You don’t deserve this.
*the above is a picture I found online. **with love to Mary Tyler Moore